What type of person are you?

 What Makes You Different?

Can people know what type of person you are from things you wear or subjects you share in your social media? Can they define who you are from the way you talk or the way you walk? What makes you different in relationships, lifestyle, hobbies, or job interviews?

How do you stand out among others, what is that so special in you?

Do you have enough self-knowledge and self awareness, and enough insight that make you walk the path confidently?

Do you have a reasonable amount of self-esteem that is not too low to make you feel hurt or broken and not too high to make you hurt or break others in your way?

What is your personality type, and who are you in terms of relationships?

Let's start with self-esteem. What is it?

Is it about you feeling responsible and dependable that you can take actions with courage and face life without fears, and that others can count on you?

Is it about you being assertive and able to create healthy boundaries?

Is it about you accepting who you are no matter how different you could be and embracing your real self?

Is it a deep sense of well-being or a result of repeated positive life experiences?

Well, it's about all these and even more. It is simply how good the relationship is between you and yourself.

A sound relationship means you're OK.

Too much self-esteem could take you to the dark worlds of narcissism and psychopathy, and too low self-esteem will take you into the hell of depression and anxiety.

Today's psychologists takes us beyond self-esteem and into mindfulness and self-efficacy.

There is also concepts of self-determination, self-actualization.

Are we aware of our self-esteem, and what is esteem?

Esteem is self-like, believing you're competent, respecting who you are.

How self-esteem drives us?

Self-Regulation

Self -regulation is the control of thoughts, emotions, and behavior through our way to achieve our long-term goals.

This involves containing our disruptive thoughts, emotions, and impulses, especially when we are regulating our social relationships.

People need each other to survive, they need to belong to a social group, and it is believed that self-esteem plays an important role in the sense of belongingness.

What Could Go Wrong ?

We always feel average is the normal. Everything around us is meant for average people. We might like to be a little more than average, but not to much. We like others whose personality is close to normal, but, still, we like to be a little above average: more extraverted, more open, more agreeable, more conscientious, and less neurotic. We want to be the alpha and the beta.

But too much extraversion leads to too much social interactions with less time for reflection. And too much ambition could lead to material success but leaves its heavy toll on personal life and family life.

Too little neuroticism is not a bless as we might think it would be. We often get anxious when we need to protect ourselves from eminent danger. Extremely low neuroticism can lead us to take very high risks to the extent that we might endanger our own lives or maybe others' too.

The best thing is to be moderate, and to be flexible. Extrovert during a social event, and introvert during a lazy day of our weekend.

Neurotic in unfamiliar and dangerous environment and less neurotic in safe environment, and it would be a bless for us to know the difference.

We are mainly stable, or at least we should be. It is not considered normal to be molding into every occasion. But we have control over the action we take and language we use in different situations. We know what to say when we are in formal situations, and when to feel casual, and when to tell this joke to a friend. We are quiet and respectful in solemn moments but celebrating during a party, or at least this is what supposed to be. 

But what can go wrong, and how?

When one or more of the Big Five traits that makes our personality go to the extreme, things might go unfavorably.

Too much neuroticism might lead to anxiety disorders, depression, some personality disorders, and maybe eating disorders.

Too much extraversion combined with lower agreeableness and lower conscientiousness might lead to dark traits like Narcissism, Machiavellianism and Psychopathy; and in extremes these can manifest as personality disorders as Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Antisocial Personality Disorder.

Schizotypal Personality is a variant of  normal, but too much Schizotypy and too much Psychoticism might lead to Schizophrenia.

We will discuss later (You and I) different types of normal, abnormal, and love personalities, so stay tuned.

Please write me a message if there is any other topic we need to discuss here. I'd like to hear from you.