WHAT MAKES US US

What makes us different? 

What makes us the way we are? 

You are not me and I am not you. You're not your father although you might resemble him or you might identify with him, or maybe afraid to be him. And I'm not my mother despite the fact that I might have her nose, her eyes, her smile, and her temper, but I'm not her, I am totally a different person.

So, what makes you you? What makes me me?..

What makes us us?

They say that the science of personality have come of age and became mature. But they also say: don't go so excited, it's only the tip of iceberg that you can really see. 

Despite all that, this tip of iceberg we see before us is so fascinating and so rich. Just approach eagerly and carefully and try to find out what makes you you.

While the baby has some temper that might later makes him more cheerful or neurotic; he grows up, watches his parents and siblings, plays in the nursery or the kids areas with similar kids, meets different people through his school and life paths, learns from teachers and from peers. He or she solves math problems together with life problems, meet good people and difficult people, favorable situations and hard luck, success and failure, until he eventually becomes the person we see in front of us now and he's still growing and still changing for better or worse.

While language could contain 1500 or more words that would describe human nature or inclinations, scientists tried to include all of these into the Five Big traits, remembered by the word OCEAN:

Openness to experience, which makes you curious and eager to explore the world around you.

Conscientiousness: when you keep your word and come in time. You have work ethics, self-discipline, and a desire for order.

Extraversion: when you're social, outgoing, talkative, and party person.

Agreeableness: when you're calm, peaceful and happy.

Neuroticism: when you're emotional, anxious, fearful, and self- conscious.

All of this big five traits are represented on a spectrum. For example, on the other end of extraversion we will find the introvert, who prefers to spend time reading a book instead of going to the party. On the other end of agreeableness spectrum there are the antagonistic people who are argumentative and defiant. And so on.

But there is a debate the the Big Five theory might not be enough. A group of narcissism researchers preferred to use what they call the Big Six, or HEXACO.

They further broke up the agreeableness trait to come up with a sixth factor which is honesty- humility, defining this way a six major personality dimensions: Honesty- Humility, Emotionality, Extraversion, Agreeableness, Conscientiousness, and Openness.

Later on,  researchers from Ontario, Canada, assessed  the HEXACO model to account for dark traits as narcissism; with low honesty-humility, low emotionality, low agreeableness, and low conscientiousness.

Other ways of defining personality were the subconscious theory and defense mechanisms of Freud and others who supported his theories, attachment theory by John Bowlby, cognitive theory, neuroscience models. 

A really fascinated science, the personality science, that will take you to new horizons of self, so, keep tuned, fasten your seatbelt.